Hello!
This weekend was one of the most eventful ones yet. I went to two block parties in town, and it was lovely being outside with the community. It felt like folks were doing one last big celebration before the end of summer.
I also had a lovely BBQ and picnic with friends at a park nearby. The sun was out and bright, a lovely change from a rather gloomy week.
Here’s my reading highlight:
Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It by Chris Voss
4 stars
Chris did a great job of highlighting how hostage negotiation techniques can be used in the business world. The book needs to be read multiple times and treated as a handbook to leverage the tools.
Here are my takeaways:
- Negotiation is not just a logical process but is deeply rooted in emotional intelligence
- Be a Mirror: Focuses on active listening and mirroring, where repeating the last few words the other person says encourages them to reveal more information and feel understood
- Don’t Feel Their Pain, Label It: Emphasizes labelling emotions to validate the other party’s feelings, which can help diffuse negative emotions and build rapport
- Fairness is subjective and often used manipulatively in negotiations. Instead, use tactical empathy to define and shape what “fair” means in the context of your negotiation
- The Power of “No”: Hearing “no” is not the end of a negotiation, but rather the beginning. It can help to clarify the other party’s needs and concerns, creating space for a more meaningful discussion
- Using terms like “How am I supposed to do that?” encourages the other party to reconsider their demands
- By asking calibrated, open-ended questions like “What” and “How,” you give the other party the illusion of control while subtly guiding the negotiation towards your desired outcome.
- Utilise the Ackerman model for bargaining: setting a target price, offering an initial amount at 65% of the target, then using increments of increasing precision (85%, 95%) until reaching the final offer at 100%
- Bargain hard
- Preparation is key to successful negotiation
- Uncover “Black Swans” – hidden pieces of information, that can dramatically alter the outcome of a negotiation
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